Harken now to this, the Word of the Accountant:
As the multitudes age, they shall reach the three Ages of Retirement!
Lo, the first age of retirement is that of fifty years of age, upon which mortals may make additional annual contributions to their retirement funds, $1,000 to an IRA or $6,000 to a 401(k) savings account.
Attend, the second age of retirement is that of fifty nine and one half years of age, upon which mortals may begin penalty-free withdrawals from their IRA.
Behold! The third age of retirement is that of seventy and one half years of age, upon which mortals must, MUST, take minimum annual distributions from your traditional IRAs!
These are the ages of retirement, the holy and consistent Word of the Accountant be praised.
Tags: weirdly funny