If it’s the Arctic Fortress of Solitude or an equatorial volcano lair, you’re probably looking to rent your perfect secret hideout for you to escape the daily pressures of super-heroism. You’ve probably had a terrible experience too, like the downtown New York skyscraper with the landlord that complained about the missile turrets and spaceship landing pad that you installed.
Here are some tips to have a good experience with your dream hideout:
Read Everything: Read the lease or other documentation thoroughly prior to signing anything. If you don’t understand something you should ask (and if it’s still unclear, find a friend to ask what they think). Keep an eye out for terms that might indicate problems with current tenants, such as about noise, weirdly specific requirements, and unreasonable demands. If it’s unreasonable, don’t sign it!
Negotiate Up Front: If there are thing that you know you’re going to need, like adding rooms for minions or pens for laser-guided wolverines, make sure that you say that up front. Be extra careful about the terms for your security and cleaning deposits, because if you’re attacked by chainsaw wielding ninjas you don’t want to lose them. And what happens to first and last month’s rent if a giant asteroid destroys the world?
Keep Things Clean: Especially important if you keep exotic or alien wildlife as pets on your property, you’ll build up good will if you keep the place as clean as possible when management needs to drop by. The same is true with rented doomsday devices: return them in great condition.
Follow The Rules: Paying on time is the most important thing, because landlords and property managers have more problems with that than anything else. Also, if you’ve paid on time consistently for months or years and you suddenly have an issue, you’ll have created the trust necessary to ask them to waive a penalty or give you a break.
Be Proactive: If something happens and you do think that you’ll need some time to repair a rip in the space/time continuum in your bathroom or if you need to have some extra cars park in the lot for your League of Justice friends, alert the property owner or manager up front. That way they’ll trust that you’re letting them know about the things they need to care about.
Know Your Neighbors: Having neighbors and community people know you can help you in the long run. They’re more likely to come to you if they have an issue. Or, if a dastardly villain tries to break into your hideout, they can alert the authorities when you’re away saving the world.
Try To Leave Smiling: Before you leave, clean up and don’t leave messes physical or otherwise for the landlord. Perhaps ask for a recommendation from the landlord, which might help you land an even better hideout in the future!
Tags: weirdly funny