Step right up, step right up ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages! Witness a miracle of the modern age in front of your very own eyes! What miracle is this? I will tell you my friends, that I myself was amazed when I first witnessed this. I did not believe it myself! But I have been convinced, and I am here to bring this phenomena to you!
My good ladies, my good gentlemen do you know where you are? You are at a fair, my fair, in fact, with many dazzling sights, mysteries of magic from as far away as the orient, and people with ability and skill beyond those of most mortals.
Let us focus on you for a moment, good people, and let me ask you a question. Should you wish to sell your goods in an appropriate place, where would you take them? To the fields in the farms? No! To the dungeons of a castle? No again! To the top of a mountain? Of course not! You would take them to where the most people are, to where they are prepared to exchange with you the goods and fruits of their labor as well, to the market!
It so happens that this fair also has such a market and, if you bring your goods here, you might wonder, will those goods fetch a good price? Will it be worth the effort and sweat of your brow? Will you get adequate compensation? In other words, will your handicrafts, goods, produce and other knickknacks be valued properly? Of course they will! I and my traveling fair are honest, common folk, and we are happy to facilitate the exchange of your dear property for proper payment!
That is right, at this fair there is a market of good value, or, if you will “Fair Market Value!” Now I see some of you shaking your heads, thinking that when you hear “fair” we mean equitable and just, and yes we do! Our market is not only at a fairground, amongst you fair people, but it is equitable and trustworthy as well! It’s a clever double meaning, one that will bring the phrase more easily to mind, won’t it?
Now, when you sell, do you know how much to sell for? This is especially important to the devious tax man, that dread organization known as the IRS! They will question you about how you set your prices to see if you are correctly paying your taxes, and your answer should be that you are selling at the “fair market value!” Huzzah!
This is quite important, the “fair market value” is used for more than just products as our lovely and equitable fair, but for all sorts of other things as well? Should you wish to buy or sell your home, that would involve the fair market value as well, or establishing the value of business assets like inventory! How about donating to your charity or religious institution of choice? Even when you barter your products or services, that requires you to know the fair market value as well!
Now, you may remember that I promised to show you a miracle, and I have not forgotten! I will be revealing to you one of the most powerful tools that you have in the fighting of the diabolically calculating taxman!
Do you see this little device, so small that I can hold it in my hand? To you, my good people, I bet it looks like a perfectly normal cell phone, but when I hold it at arm’s length, engage the camera, and take a still picture of the kind that is so common in our modern times, it becomes something else, something magical!
That’s right, this little device and the picture that it holds can become proof (proof-positive!) of the fair market value of your goods! It will provide good evidence of what you have and the condition that it is in before it was traded, sold, or donated! Or, should you see a similar product for sale, you can take a picture of the advertisement to prove what the fair market value is when other people are vending the same items!
Similarly, if you have a hard time keeping receipts from your many transactions, this small device can be used to take pictures of the receipts so that they within your grasp to defend your from the terrors of the IRS agents! I see shivers of fear throughout the audience tonight, and know that some of you have experienced the horrors of which I speak.
You may wonder how this simple device possesses such powers, and the answer to that is the modern day magic of science, and the proof that good records provide to the properly prepared. As the Boy Scouts moto goes, “Be Prepared,” and we here have taken that value to heart!
You too can stave off the annoyances of the IRS if you too keep sufficiently mesmerizing records of your receipts and other papers of import, especially those that establish that most important of numbers, the fair market value!
Tags: weirdly funny