Certain tax figures get adjusted for inflation every year. Some, like the earnings subject to social security tax, went up by 7%, but some didn’t change at all. Here are the numbers for 2017.
- Nannies: If you pay a household employee directly, and if you pay them more than $2,000 per year, you also have to manage their payroll withholding as well. Please remember to tell them not to use wire hangers. Ever!
- Kids: If your children under 19 (or under 24 for full-time students) have more than $2,100 in unearned income (dividends or interest, usually) they could be taxed at your highest rate. Please remember that you can’t pay your taxes by giving children to the IRS in lieu of money.
- HSAs: If you contribute to a health savings account, the maximum for an individual will be $3,400 for an individual and $6,750 for families. If you’re older than 55 you can add an additional $1,000 to those numbers in order to catch up. Please remember not to keep calf’s milk for medicinal baths in your HSA, as it doesn’t keep well.
- IRAs: The maximum IRA contribution you can make in 2017 will remain at $5,500 if you’re under 50 or $6,500 if you’re over 50. Please remember that IRA stands for “Individual Retirement Account” and not “Irish Republican Army.”
- If you’re receiving Social Security benefits but are under full retirement age, the earnings limit in 2017 will increase to $16,920. Please remember, if you’re receiving Social Insecurity benefits, there are people out there that care about you.
- 401ks: You cannot contribute more than $18,000 of your wages to a 401k in 2017 unless you’re over 50, in which case you can contribute a maximum of $24,000. If you have a SIMPLE plan the maximum for 2017 is $12,500 with an extra $3,000 for people over 50. Please remember that imaginary numbers confuse accountants, and should not be used for 401k contribution amounts.
- The new limit for wages not subject to the social security tax is $127,200 (all wages below that amount are subject, amounts above are not). Please remember redundancy is important to remember, please.
Please remember that everything in this entry after “please remember” is supposed to be dry humor.
Tags: weirdly funny