We may not be relationship counselors but one of the big things that people fight about is money and that’s something that we can help with. Most people don’t talk enough—or at all—before they get married. Here’s what you need to say:
- What do you own: What assets do you each own? Houses, bank accounts, stock, businesses, horses, royal titles. What is going to happen to it when you get married?
- What do you owe: What debts do each of you have? Home loans, car loans, student loans, mob loans, taxes. Not only do you need to know, you need to have a plan to handle it.
- Credit Rating: Do you know what yours are? Do you know why? Which one of you is better with money?
- Attitude and Habits: How do each of you look at money, and who should be the person managing any joint accounts and paying any joint bills? Who is better at saving and spending? Should one of you be on an allowance?
- Joint Accounts: Will joint accounts work for you? Write out a list of pros and cons, and perhaps talk to a bank to see if there are advantages.
- Who’s advising: Do either of you have a good neutral financial advisor who isn’t one of your parents or siblings? You should talk to them together about your joint situation. Set up a hypothetical budget so you have a plan going forward.
- Legal matters: Are there any other legal matters that you need to discuss prior to getting married? You’re making a prenup, right? So talk to a lawyer about that and anything else that comes up.
A few additional recommendations: if they won’t talk to you that means something is wrong. They’re probably just embarrassed, but you still need to know. Don’t marry someone until you have sufficient answers.
Also, if you don’t think you can trust your partner with a frank conversation about finances, you shouldn’t be marrying them. Always true, even if some people don’t listen to this advice.
Finally, don’t move in with your in-laws or let your in-laws move in with you right away. That’s basically the worst thing you can do for your relationship.
We have a couple of other articles regarding marriage. First, Now that you’re married, here’s our Marital Financial Advice. Second, here’s the Newlywed’s Tax Checklist, which should cover things you need to do as your marriage status changes for your taxes.
Best wishes to you on your upcoming nuptials!